Fashion Week Cleveland 2012: The Supermodel’s tale

May 15, 2012

Call the Plain Dealer, I’m gonna be a STAR!

In case you didn’t know (which is entirely possible because I was slightly embarrassed), I was a runway model for Fashion Week Cleveland 2012. This involved countless hours spent sitting around, waiting for Fashion Week to post on Facebook whether or not I was chosen as a model. That’s right, on Facebook. Then they told me (again, on Facebook) that I would have to show up at certain times to try on the clothes I would be modeling. SERIOUSLY? Like I spend all my time on Facebook. E-mail is 98% effective, like condoms with perfect use.  Anyway, I digress complainingly.

I showed up at 3pm on the day of the fashion show to get my face and hair done. Angry or happy? Most likely angry. Find out why, next!

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After getting my hair and makeup done, It was about 3:30pm. By 5p, ALL OF THE MODELS WERE DONE GETTING READY. The show wasn’t supposed to start until 9:30p. WHY DID THEY HAVE US SHOW UP SO EARLY? No one knows. I suspect v. poor organization on their part. (Surprise! It’s like they organize everything through Facebook, which is only 85% effective, like condoms with typical use.)

Here is an Instagram of me with all my makeup done. It’s almost as if I am a supermodel from 1964, like Twiggy. However, her eyelashes always look cooler than mine. I don’t know why I always think that Instagram photos were taken in 1964. It is possible that it could have been 1965.

Before the show, some of the models and I sashayed upstairs to mingle with the gala attendees, much to the chagrin of the Fashion Week coordinators. Puh-leeze. We were sitting around doing absolutely nothing for four hours and not getting paid, let’s drum up some enthusiasm for people that had paid way too much money to be there and had to wait outside for half an hour since the event couldn’t open on time. I found my friends Anita and Katie and we took pictures on the red carpet (left). I also found some bloggers (right), Alicia, Kimberly, and Jen! Doesn’t everyone look absolutely gorgeous? I’m wearing a dress that I rehabbed

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Here is the first outfit, designed by Barbara Rubright. That’s me on the left. The other girl was like, “OMG, I’m going to smile when I walk down the runway.” I was like, you idiot, models don’t smile. So I didn’t smile. She didn’t either. She was probably trying to sabotage me so she could get famous quicker for not smiling. Because that’s what people get famous for nowadays. (photo)

Here’s my second outfit, designed by Angie Williams Stevens. It’s supposed to be for mothers of the bride. My mom legit said this, “I am waiting to wear mother of the bride dress.” LEGIT. ON FACEBOOK. I HAVE PROOF. GOOD LUCK TO YOU, MOTHER. Fun Fact: I got to walk down the runway to “Call Me Maybe” which was definitely the highlight of Fashion Week to me, if that tells you anything. (photo)

In case you’re wondering, NO, there was no runway. There was tiled floor in what used to be a food court. No one past the first row could see the entire model. What in the world is the point of a fashion show if you can’t see? ELEVATE THE FLOOR, RAISE THE ROOF, OR SOMETHING SIMILAR. Geez. If I had paid $40 or $100 for this and couldn’t see a damn thing, I would be livid. There needs to be many changes made to this for next year. How can I be too sexy for my shirt (like one poor model, oops, #nipslip) and do my little turn if there is no catwalk? Answer: I can’t. Too bad. I’m probably too over-the-hill to model ever again. I WANNA BE FAMOUS!

All we care about are runway models, Cadillacs and liquor bottles
Give me something I wanna be, retro glamour, Hollywood yes we live for the


5 Responses to “Fashion Week Cleveland 2012: The Supermodel’s tale”

  1. Good to hear the model perspective on the event. I agree the organization was awful, but you looked fab!

  2. cleveland said

    Rock it out girl!!! Am I laughing with or at you? Not sure, but having fun, nontheless. Adore you madly. I will play Adele in your honor…

  3. […] nor do I know really anything about it. BUT, look how fantabulous Nidhi looks? Ow ow! Head over to Cleveland Socialite to check out her recap of the experience. Also, check her out in the Plain […]

  4. Your walking partner for that first outfit took the “don’t smile” statement VERY seriously…

    You slay me. I say all of us get some bottles of bubbly and throw our own version FWC ourselves…

  5. alithearchitect said

    Your walking partner has obviously not watched Zoolander as many times as you have!

    But maybe she was just sad because her outfit is DressBarn hideous (apologies to DressBarn). Also, good luck mother = hahahahahahaha. love it.

    I hope your bro gives her hope.

    Also, I think you should have worn the dress you rehabbed instead of that cranberry colored mess.

    Also, we should do fashion week next year. I promise not to leave the country.

    Also, I love you.

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