how NOT to be social

August 3, 2012

While we haven’t literally written a manual for our followers on how to be social, it cannot be denied that we wrote the book (figuratively).

Some suggestions from those who know / want to be famous (aka us):

547712_10151099437112239_1591207454_n (1) Always wear one statement piece, preferably from a thrift store. It’s an easy conversation starter AND you’ll have more cash to spend on things like cosmos. YUM.

(2) Always laugh when there is a camera in sight. People like happy people. Newspaper / Magazine photographers should like happy people. This theory may have to be tested further.

(3) When announcing plans for the evening, recite your awesome schedule really loud so other people can hear you and be jealous.

(4) When someone asks you do something next Tuesday, smile and politely/smugly announce that you have of course been booked for months: Tuesdays are for wining and crafting, what could possibly interfere with that?

IMG-20120722-00917(5) Post photographs of all the awesome things you do to all social media outlets. Of course, everything you do is awesome when you are a socialite, so POST, BABY, POST!

(6)  Always be fashionably late. Socialites don’t have time to wait around.

(7) Wear really obnoxious sunglasses, again, preferably from a thrift store.

(8) When people ask if you’re famous, say YES! These people on the wall weren’t famous until Andy Warhol said “are you famous” and they were like, “yes, I think so”. And so then they were. That is a true story.

(9) Take budding socialites under your wing. After all, they always say its lonely at the top, so you’ll want to reject that silly stereotype and bring lots of happy, shiny, fun people with you!

(10) Live. Love. Eat. Never sleep until you get Mono.

Conversely, here is something you should not do.

IMG-20120802-01055 This Little Italy abode houses very anti-Cleveland Socialites! EWW!


One Response to “how NOT to be social”

  1. Omg we don’t have mono. my doctor friend checked. SO DON’T WORRY, followers!!!

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